Wheels!

Today, your first set of wheels arrived, and they are bitchin'. No offspring of mine is going to be caught dead tooling around in anything too-not-cool, right?

Check out the whip:

As I say, bitchin'. You'll turn heads, I can tell you.

Also, because your Dad's a complete idiot and likes fiddling around with editing programmes and Star Trek, I made this:

Check it out. Geek City!

Your crazy uncles are going to shit themselves. Your Mum just rolled her eyes as per usual. Maybe she misunderstands my subtle genius, eh? Maybe.