I can't see people passing their driving tests and humblebragging about it on Facebook anymore. It's poisonous to me. I hate their success. Hate it. And by extension, I hate them. I hate them because they have categorically succeeded where I could not, and never will. Their lives are apparently limitless. Mine is restricted to a lovely house in the middle of fucking nowhere. I cannot escape. I cannot change. I cannot move. I cannot grow. I cannot. I cannot. I cannot.
I am moving in two years' time to a place from which I can get about unaided. This is ridiculous. I feel disabled, and useless, and sub-them. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.
My life has all the makings of a big heap of nothing. He is literally some sort of fucking rocket scientist. I am a writer who has written nothing. I have sat in the back-bedroom of my house and failed to complete a simple form, and then failed to do a basic job. No one has cared, or called, all day. Fuck this.
Of course I didn't do that great idea I had. Because I'm a cunt. A useless fucking cunt, sitting on his own, shouting silently inside his own head, unable to change a single fucking thing.
As you were.
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